Tuesday, July 6, 2021

July 2021 & To Be Reads

Hi my loves

We are into July now and I'm still struggling to find what I want to read. To be honest I have started quite a few books but haven't gotten far in them because I'm just not interested. I used to bust through this by switching genres or reading formats from e-books to audio but I don't even feel like doing that. I'm just not feeling reading and it's honestly one of the worst feelings ever.

I've taken so many breaks from reading and it's depressing because I look at my shelves and want to read but nothing is holding my attention.  I'm even faltering when it comes to my journaling and crafting. I know part of this is the procrastination brought on by seeking perfectionism; and the other is living through a pandemic and being "an essential worker" who deals with healthcare all day. Even within the healthcare setting, we have people who are spouting the foolishness from facebook and the goddamn qanon bullshit and I'm just so damn exhausted from it all. I know that I am in need of new coping mechanisms to get around it because what used to work isn't working anymore and I miss reading.  

As a way to ease me back into reading I'm going to put 3 books on my list to read this month, and none of them I have to finish this month. I do however want to make serious headway in them. I'm going to cheat a little because I know I'm almost done with the first one, but that will be motivation to keep going:

Dark Song by Christine Feehan This is book 30 in the Carpathian series, and normally I fly through these but this one was heavy and I just couldn't consume it all at once. 

They Were Her Property: White Women as Slave Owners in the American South by Stephanie E Jones- Rodgers. I'm pretty sure this is what kicked me into my reading slump. Like I grew up with the story of the White Wtich of Rose Hall  and was well aware of the cruelty of whites when it came to slavery, but some of the first accounts here just took me down. How people could be so cruel then raise children and have these mother fuckers in our faces today telling us to get over it. Reading this book?? It makes me look at white people as a whole in a very different way.  If books like this and the concept of Critical Race Theory bother you, you're the mother fuckers I'm talking about. 

I've also started and want to finish Witches Steeped in Gold by Ciannon Smart.  I was listening on audio, it was going great then one of the characters began to do too much stupid stuff for me and I had to step away. Like things were building so well, then she kept whining about what she's expected to be while at the same time glorying in using the magic that came from the role she was supposed to be. It got annoying so I took a step back. I'll go back in with the understanding that that is YA and as young kids, they don't have it all figured out yet and they are going to make lots of mistakes; so even if I want to side-eye them, I probably would have been right there with them making the stupid   short-sighted choices as well. 

That is going to be all for me this month What do you plan o get into? Have you read any of the ones I've shared? Let me know in the comments and I'll chat with you later. 

Happy Reading my loves

Saturday, February 20, 2021

How It's Going so Far in 2021

Dear readers,( my loves) 

Normally by now, we would be in the full swing of things here on the blog, I would have had my 30 days (ish) of posts about the new year and goals and objectives, I would have shared the fun challenges I'm giving myself t this year and all the books I want to tackle.

Last year (2020 as a whole) was exhausting, the need to stay on top of all that was happening in healthcare (it's my chosen career field and where I currently work) and staying abreast of all the abuses of power taking place in the world really knocked me for a loop. I couldn't find it in me to get lost in a book, I was in preservation/ survival mode. I didn't really come out of it until after January 20th and to be real I'll probably never be the same.  As many of us will never be the same. We survived four years of gaslighting, four years of abuse, and trying to live in a panorama, it's beyond depressing.

I can honestly say if I hadn't gone to therapy and gotten some new techniques on how to handle trauma then I wouldn't honestly know where I would be and what kind of state I would be in. 2020 has been the first year since I've learned to read as a child that I can say I never read a pleasure book or any kind of book beyond work material ever. I've never not read for a whole year, I almost didn't buy any books last year either, I stopped using my planners, I stopped tracking everything, beyond March of 2020 I went into survival mode and focused on getting things done to stay ahead of what was happening and nothing more.

I want 2021 to be different. Already it is different. I have used my Scribd subscription I have borrowed books and listened and read them from the library. I've actually purchased books to have on my shelves (some of which were the ones from last year that I missed). I've actually gone back into my socials and am participating again. I've started filming for youtube again and here I am writing a blog post.  It feels like coming out a fog, I'm not just focused on survival now, now I want to go back to living & finding ways in which to thrive.  

I'm not setting some elaborate goals for the blog or the youtube channel. My goals this year are to get back into reading and enjoy it. 2020 really helped me realize with all the drama that was going on and all the people who kept outing themselves as trash authors that I don't want or need on my shelves anymore, 2021 is going to be a year of serious purging. I'm going to be getting rid of a few read & unread books by authors that are problematic and those that are just plain racist trash. Come along with me on this journey as I purge, curate, and purchase the kind of library I will love and hold onto.  (until the next author outs themselves as trash.) 

How has your year been??? Are you finding yourself struggling to get lost in a good book as well?? Or were you able to hide from 2020 between the pages??? Share some of your favorites with me cause boy do I need them. 

Thank You for stopping by and taking to the time to read, & comment (if you do comment).